For the church that wants to confront abuse

For too many individuals, abuse is more than a story in the news cycle; the scars and trauma of abuse are a daily reality. This is even true for many within the supposed “safe space” of our churches and Christian ministries. Yet, it continues to be a daunting and often taboo subject.

With that in mind, here are some steps that experts recommend local churches, elders and ministry leaders should take to tackle the pressing issue of abuse.

Recognise the problem 

For too many individuals, abuse is more than a story in the news cycle

“There’s a plain denial when it comes to sexual and emotional abuse in churches and Christian families,” says Abraham Thomas, a professor and counsellor at the Global School of Counseling in Bangalore, India. 

Churches ought to be places where we can let our safeguards down. “We assume pastors, elders, parents, teachers, or youth leaders are trustworthy,” notes psychologist Diane Langberg, who specialises in working with trauma victims and churches. What has happened one too many times though is that those very havens have violated the trust of its congregants.

This is not limited to certain denominations either. There is potential for abuse in any situation of authority. Scripture is clear that those with spiritual authority have a solemn responsibility for those under their care, but the reality of a fallen world is that many will abuse this power.
A local church does not need to have the institutional power of the Catholic Church to cover up abuse, nor does a perpetrator need to have the reputation of a Ravi Zacharias to hide their actions. Blindly assuming that incidents do not, or can not, take place in your own church is ignorant at best, and dangerous at worst.

Understand the stakes

Most are familiar with physical and sexual abuse, but issues of emotional abuse are also important to address. Professor Thomas explains that emotional abuse is a “pattern of humiliation, degrading comments, domination or intimidation” of another person. 

Similar criteria apply to spiritual abuse, which takes place when leaders use their spiritual knowledge and position to “coerce another by manipulating, deceiving, or humiliating them”, according to Diane Langberg. 

When someone accused of abuse is an elder, pastor, or teacher, the allegations are shocking. But the church must never use a person’s public reputation or ministry to sweep abuse under the rug. This could even amount to spiritual abuse and fosters silence where abuse can thrive.

While only physical abuse may leave visible scars, all forms of abuse have unretractable impacts on victims. Depression and post-traumatic stress disorder may manifest themselves even years after the abuse takes place. Aversion to intimacy, and even a fear of and rejection of the church itself are just some of the impacts that abuse may have on victims.

Blindly assuming that incidents do not, or can not, take place in your own church is ignorant at best, and dangerous at worst

The safety and healing of victims should be the first priority, Langberg notes, but the church also fails abusers when issues go unaddressed. “We have left him/her in their prison, practising that which is strangling their soul. There is no grace in leaving another in the prison of practised sin.” 

While it may be more “comfortable” to avoid the conflict or reputational fallout of dealing with abuse, church leadership in particular must understand what is at stake and reflect Christ’s heart of love and protection for His sheep. 

How to be prepared

The most important practical step that churches — of any size — needs to take is designing a written policy to address abuse. This needs to take place regardless of whether there are known ongoing cases of abuse. It will not only aid church leaders when incidents occur, but will keep victims from being further victimised by gossip and clumsy responses.

Professor Thomas compares this to a fire drill: as most schoolchildren know, fire drills are crafted and practised ahead of time because, in a moment of crisis, it’s vital to be prepared. 

While the exact specifics of such a policy will depend on each church, it should contain the following: 

1. The definitions: This would cover the different types of abuse.
2. Legal responsibilities: The policy must adhere to local laws — for example, in some countries, clergy members are legally required to report abuse to the authorities. 
3. Clear protocols for reporting and responding: Churches need groups and resources on hand to deal with abuse, particularly trained counsellors and even legal representatives once incidents come to light.
   There should also be a framework in place to protect victims and remove abusers from within the church, whether that be for a time or longer, depending on the issue.
   Another helpful protocol is having “levels” of response — if an issue is raised — based on the seriousness and dependent on what further investigation uncovers, in terms of consequences for abusers, care for the victims, and counselling procedures.
   Professor Thomas notes that having these protocols in place can also help address some of the gossip that may arise in small communities when issues arise. “Confidentiality is a major issue in small churches… (but) if there is a written policy, there can be terms of confidentiality, who leads (investigations) … what is the next level, so everybody won’t be involved,” he says. 
4. Proactive and protective steps: Professor Thomas recommends that churches wait for a set period before getting people involved in youth and Sunday School ministries while conducting background checks with their families and previous churches. Other recommended steps include systems of accountability for elders and others involved in discipleship and counselling. 
5. Training: Elders, ministry leaders, and others in positions of authority should receive training on identifying signs of abuse and should be familiar with both the policies of the church and their government. Members of the congregation must be aware of the policy, and know how to report abuse. 

Church leadership in particular must understand what is at stake and reflect Christ’s heart of love and protection for His sheep

Know and apply the Scriptures

Unfortunately, Scripture and spiritual concerns can be used as a weapon against victims. Ideas of grace and forgiveness, even the language of “let’s leave it to the Lord” can be used to keep victims from the healing, care, and justice they need. Such actions can also keep an abuser in a position to hurt others. 

Many experts recommend that leaders periodically give sermons condemning the sin of abuse, hold workshops for families, and otherwise ensure that their congregation is well-informed. Perpetrators must know that the church and its leadership take abuse seriously, and victims must know that they have a safe environment in which they will be protected if they come forward. 

Additionally, in cultural situations where discussions of sex and abuse are taboo, victim-blaming is common. Thus, churches must emphasise that victims are not responsible for their abuse. 

GRACE, a ministry focused on preventing abuse in the church, explains that this is particularly important as abusers often groom victims to feel responsible: “Because perpetrators compound their sin by making the victims feel responsible, we must consistently give the message that God holds perpetrators exclusively responsible for their conduct.”